Kurtofsky Kiss: Dave's POV
by OnceInaBlueMoon7
Summary: This is the kiss that follows Kurt's bullying by Karofsky in Karofsky's point of view. The episode is basically re-written but while delving into Dave's mind. Also, confronting Karofsky in both Kurt and Blaine's POV. The last chapter is an extract from Karofsky's diary.
1. The Kiss

I saw him in the crowded corridor, looking at something on the phone in his hands, a stupid, intense smile on his face. Wow. I thought. I was instantly angry at myself, and at him. How could he do this to me. Why did he? I envied him. He was so carefree and relaxed with who he was and he wasn't caged in like I was. He didn't have the whole of the school about to pound down on him like a tonne of bricks if he made the tiniest mistake. He didn't hate himself.

Anger and jealousy flared up in me, causing me to knock the phone out of his hands and shove him hard against the locker. I had to make him pay for how I felt. I looked back at him, sneering, the cute expression of shock and terror he wore on his face pleasing me. I walked off with a ruling swagger, happy that no-one dared to look me in the eye. I ruled this place and no-one, not even Hummel, can get away with making me feel bad. I heard an angry cry come from behind me. I walked faster, ignoring the noise. No-one had ever stood up to me and they won't now.

I strode into the locker room, Hummel stormed in after, yelling at me to listen to him,

"Girls' locker room is next door," I spat at him, busying myself in my locker.

"What is your problem!" he demanded, his voice angry. My problem is that I envy you and I can't help it. I hate that your life was so easy and how you have accepted yourself, and how you are comfortable with who you are. And I hate the way you make me feel and I hate that I get angry with you and am making you hurt, I thought to myself angrily. I pulled some football boots from my locker.

"'Scuse me?" I avoided the question.

"What are you so scared of?" he yelled like it was more of a statement than a question.

"Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?" I threw the boots on the bench and continued emptying my locker.

"Oh, yeah, every straight guy's nightmare - that all of us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well, guess what, Ham hock? You're not my type!" he said quickly. That caught my attention. I turned to him,

"That right?" I sneered, daring him to say more, but at the same time reeling at the insult.

"Yeah, I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are going to be bald by the time they're thirty." Ouch, that really made me mad. Who did he think he was! I could feel tears welling up, but I would NOT cry in front of Hummel.

"Do not push me, Hummel." I growled, slowly, lifting my fist aggressively. I saw him glance at it warily, his mouth open slightly, disgust and anger written on his face. I was surprised he wasn't scared.

"You going to hit me?" he said, his voice wavering a little. "Do it." His voice was more confident and daring. His threat took me aback. It made me angrier, I wasn't used to being stood up to and I didn't like it one bit. I envied him even more because he had the guts to stand up for himself without needing violence. I could never do that.

I warned him not to push me again, slamming my locker shut for affect.

"Hit me, 'cause it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!"

"I said get out of my face!" I yelled, the words distorted with rage. I didn't want to but I felt hurt. Anger burned inside me. Sadness stuck in my throat. The rest of the argument happened in slow motion. He pointed his finger at me angrily,

"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!" I could feel my heart speeding up, it hammered in my chest with anger but he was right. I am scared. Scared of what people would do to me if I came out. Scared of the looks I would get. Scared of people doing to me what I had done to Kurt. Scared of people doing to me what I had done to Kurt. That was the moment my brain left me. My body followed its instincts. Kurt's face was close to mine now. Before he'd barely finished his sentence, I reached across and kissed him. I held his face in my hands, his porcelain skin soft under my hands. I kept him there, kissing him roughly and awkwardly. His lips remained rigid under mine.

I quickly but reluctantly pulled away, hastily taking my hands away from him. My expression was soft, my heart beating hard and fast, my lips tingling slightly. Fireworks. Ugh, I thought, appalled in myself for using that awful cliché. I couldn't take in his horrified expression so I leaned in again for some wild reason. Maybe I hoped I had a chance. Kurt pushed me back. It was then I really saw his expression. Terror and disgust. He stepped back quickly as I regained my balance after being shoved. One hand was up to his mouth, his eyes were wide. My stomach boiled. Frustration rose up inside me. I'd messed up and it was effecting me more than I had dared to think about. A sharp breath escaped me, almost like a sob, but I was too angry with myself for that. I hit the locker hard and rushed off, the feel of rejection tainting my anger. I hate to say it, but I was near tears.


	2. Confronting Karofsky Kurt

"Although I really don't want to, I keep remembering Karofsky's face when he tried to kiss me again." I sighed to Blaine, although I was terrified of him, I did feel sorry for Karofsky. He's in a hard place right now.

"Are you mad?" Blaine exclaimed, instantly surprised at my comment, "After all he's done to you, you still feel sorry for him! Honestly Kurt, you really are too nice for your own good!" Blaine smiled at me. I had spent a lot of time with Blaine since the first time I went to Dolton, but his smile never failed to blow me away.

I had asked Blaine to come to McKinley to help me confront Karofsky. I had told him the whole story of what happened yesterday, shuddering at the part where I remembered how he kissed me.

Blaine had agreed to come to McKinley at lunch to back me up. So here he was. And I'm glad he was too as we soon ran into Karofsky on the stairwell. When we saw Karofsky approaching my heart started beating and I hurriedly told Blaine.

"I got your back," he quietly told me before stopping Karofsky. "Excuse me," he said formally. Karofsky stopped, looking at Blaine and then me. I could feel his quick gaze boring into me.

"Hey lady boys." He sneered at us, looking from Blaine to me and back. "This your boyfriend, Kurt?" I kept my eyes on him, mouth slightly open, but I could still feel Blaine's glance at me.

"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something." Blaine said, reasoning, but firm.

"I gotta go to class." Karofsky pushed past us, shoving my shoulder roughly to the side. He turned his back on us and continued down the stairs.

"Kurt told me what you did." That caught his attention. Karofsky turned toward us.

"Oh yeah?" he paused with a threatening nod and a small snigger. God, I really hated that guy.

"What's that?" he continued. I sighed slightly, he wasn't making this easy for himself. I had no choice,

"You kissed me." His head snapped up to look at me, then he looked franticly around him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Karofsky said with a smirk.

"It seems you might be a little confused, and that's totally normal. This is a..." Karofsky turned and began to walk quickly away, halfway through Blaine's sentence. He obviously didn't want to know. Either that or he wanted to listen but he didn't want to admit to himself that he needed help and support. Blaine follows him, still talking to him, or rather, at him. "A very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should just know that you're not alone." At this Karofsky turns on Blaine, rushing at him and pushing him into the fence. Blaine holds up his hands in a surrender gesture.

"Do not mess with me!" Karofsky growls at Blaine. Instant anger builds up in me.

"You have to stop this!" I shout, pushing Karofsky off Blaine. Karofsky frowns at me, then his face goes expressionless but his eyes are still hard. They soften slightly as he clocks my expression, he glances down at the ground, then back up to me. He turns, looking almost scared, and flees. I stand there, shocked. Seeing him reminds me of my encounter with him yesterday. But it also reminds me of something else, something that dragged sadness from my chest.


	3. Confronting Karofsky Blaine

"Well, he's not coming out anytime soon." I laugh to myself, trying to make a joke to ease the tension that Kurt's shock had brought on us.

After meeting Kurt when he first came to Dolton, I'd decided I would do anything I could to help him not make the same mistake I did. When he told me about the Karofsky guy it reminded me of what happened to me and how I ran away from my problems.

Anyway, Kurt didn't laugh at the joke, which was surprising as he's usually always happy and jokey but I suppose the Karofsky situation was bringing him down. He didn't laugh, he just sighed heavily. He slipped his bag on to the ground and sat heavily on the steps near us. I looked over at him,

"What's going on?" I asked him, he didn't answer, just adjusted his position slightly. _Poor guy,_ I thought, he'd been through a lot. More than I could have stood anyway. I envied him almost, I wish that I had the strength not just run from my problems.

I sat next to Kurt on the steps, he hung his head.

"Why you so upset?" I tried to ask in an as reassuring voice as possible. Kurt sighed shakily,

"Because until yesterday I had never been kissed." His voice quietened to almost a whisper.

"Or at least... one that counted," he continued softly and dejectedly, looking away from me. He sniffed quietly. I wasn't really sure how to reply to that. He was so upset about this, he was so passionate and romantic at heart, he wanted his first kiss to be perfect. And it had been stolen by a heartless bully.

I looked at him thinking of a way to cheer him up. Although I couldn't turn back time or change how things had happened, I still had to help a little.

"Come on," I said, nudging him gently, "I'll buy you lunch."


	4. Dear Diary

For weeks after I had never felt so alone. I had people all around me but I just felt so lonely. I had to carry on like nothing had happened and it was harder than I ever imagined. I can't say I didn't feel guilty but I couldn't help loosing myself to anger and frustration. When he left I was happier in some ways but I missed seeing him around. I missed seeing his perfectly placed hair and confident, beautiful, trusting, gentle eyes, but most of all I missed having, well, _my role model_ around to guide me. At least I couldn't hurt him anymore. At least I couldn't feel the stabbing pain when I saw him in the corridor, nor the surge of mad butterflies sickening my stomach, tinged with a little regret but mostly jealousy. Only a dull ache now proved to me how I felt about him, only a small but gaping hole suggested that I had lost something special.

Whenever someone brought him up or mentioned his name, I always flinched. Even just his name brought a weight upon me. Emotions I couldn't control pierced through me. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. And I think they can sense it. But I had to continue with my life like nothing ever happened. This hurt more than ever.

I am tired of being the face of the school. I am fed up of having to be popular and act tough, but most of all, I am fed up that my popularity is getting in the way of who I am. Great, I've gone all soft, but my father is right, I've changed and this is not who I am.


End file.
